weegee klogic fair

some people look for albatross
some people look for steve
some people look for flying gum
some people look to leave

some people look for lemon glass
to fix a windowpane
some people look for mumming bats
or i am quite insane

some people look for sailing chips
some people seek distress
some people want to break away
so they seek gentleness

some folks want macaroni
some look for boiling oil
some folks seek bigger skunks to wash
and some seek gramsci foil

if you are looking for it
you are sure to find it there
and the place that you will find it
is the weegee klogic fair

bimbiny frim

bimbiny frim
put on his slim
to sing the hymn
billiry rim

nee could scree
from knee to knee
as wee as he
reemeny tee

no could go
as low a pro
sa toes to glow
momono row

soon would croon
the end of tune
immune from ruin
voomumu wune

rachel's secret

rachel had a secret
that she kept under her hat
it was nearly big as she was
and it wasn't very flat

it had as many arms and legs
as many pants and coats
and, another thing in common,
it especially liked oats

rachel's secret had a mouth and nose
some hips, some breasts, some eyes
but she'd hide it so you couldn't see
she really liked surprise

her secret had a face like hers
a tattoo on its knee
well, i guess that you have guessed it
rachel's secret, it was she

minky

blast, said minky mindlebrim
he did not bring his blime
he carries it inside his crans
he does so all the time

he needed it for swavelling
and also for surteps
he should have had it twice as long
he took the proper steps

if only he had smotherbum
or blinkered like the guys
he'll have to walk like mucklethick
or wear a cratch disguise

or maybe he'll just mindlebrim
the sound of his own name
a crazy shake of silvansquirt
does not mean crackenstame

simple challenge

underneath the viaduct
in a corner of concrete
by a crack in the sidewalk
that's kept quite clean, that's kept real neat

on the top of all the sky
when it's dark enough to cut
in the corner of your eye
in that gurgle in your gut

twice as many upside down
even if the going hurts
wear rainslicks if you are wise
in the land of many berts

onions ring for all tourists
gossamer as shredded cheese
if you do not yet believe
take a little look at these

esther's copy

esther was the copier
she copied night and day
her paper pile reached from detroit
up to the milky way

her job description was too long
she needed another her
so she made a copy of herself
with the copier

they worked together as a team
until they both met gus
her copy ran away with him
together on the bus

so esther works alone again
without ifs ands or buts
while gus is scarred all over
from esther's copy's paper cuts

big head ted

big head ted
had the biggest of all head
you would wonder what his voice was like
until he opened it and said,

"i'm big head ted"
if you sw him, then you fled
his shoulders were a little sunk
as if he carried lead

big head ted
no lady could he wed
the thought of having sex with him
filled everyone with dread

big head ted
some day he will be dead
but for now he suffers daily
from that big ache in his head

big head ted
of his big head you have read
if you had a head as big as his
you'd stay all day in bed

rainy mara

Dr. Zork is here after some absence to continue animation reports. Altho the fictional animator Akre has set aside work on Wargoon Flishe for some time, he has been doing other animation projects. Lately, he has plunged himself into a couple of animation sociology experiments. Currently he is engaged in a study of the viewing habits of Fringe Theater goers, in which he also animates his subjects and their thoughts. More on this will be forthcoming, but first, here is the pome of the day

rainy mara has a cloud
that always hangs above her
because it is a rain cloud
it makes everybody love her

it always rains on mara
everybody else has sky
tho above her's always cloudy
you will never see her cry

the strangest thing of all
some people think her quite insane
rainy mara is always happy
despite the steady clouds and rain

you too may have some days you feel
beneath a cloudy aura
but smile and laugh and giggle
and be like our rainy mara

Written in sincerity and with fingers,
Dr. Hubert Zork

twitch bixby

bixby has a nervous twitch
it shakes his head and gown
it twitches both his legs and arms
and is felt thruout our town

he'll get a twitch when he is scared
and that comes easily
it could be something he will eat
or something he will see

his nervous twitch is known to shake
chairs and trikes and couches
if one of them should fall on you
you would be saying ouches

so do not frighten bixby
if you want to keep on track
or else you best get busy
putting all our furniture back

pickel pete

pickle pete ate only pickles
by the spear and by the jar
he would eat them fast and slow
he would eat them near and far

he would drink the pickle juice
in a glass with every meal
and if he didn't lick each jar
the eating didn't seem so real

after years of pickle diet
he turned a shade of pickle green
but this did not affect his mood
pete was nice and rarely mean

folks wondered if he had a condition
or if he was extremely fickle
pete said that he would eat so many
to keep himself out of a pickle

gertrude's garden

gertrude grew a lovely garden
in her left ear and her right
if the left side was in shadow
then the other side had light

gertrude grew all kinds of vegetables
tomatoes, peas and squash
and she sometimes used the bean poles
double duty to dry wash

for her flowers, bees and butterflies
were often hanging round
she'd ask you to repeat if there
was too much buzzing sound

and at harvest, see her pantry
wonder how she grew all that
you'd swear she was pulling rabbits
from a magician's ear-shaped hat

recording lester

lester was a lonely guy
he had a tape recorder
he'd record the sound of various times
it gave his life some order

he'd record the sound of eight a.m.
and play it back at ten
in case he missed a sound or two
he'd hear that hour again

and when his library of tapes
of moments from the past
had reached sufficient size and breadth
he recorded his last

and now he listens all alone
to all his tapes, his face
will tell you all you need to know
about accoustic space

faces of edna

edna had as many faces
as she had in hat
she would wear one face on this day
and another one on that

on this day, just the sunny face
on that day, just the frown
one this day, with the nose upturned
on that day with nose down

her friends would never recognize her
unless she warned them in advance
sometimes she'd switch out faces
at intermission at a dance

a semi truck jumped off the street
smashed her face closet in the hall
and the one face she has remaining
is the most unflattering one of all

pome closed

i do not have a pome to say
i do not have a pome today
i can not write it with a pen
i do not know where to begin
you would not believe a word at all
you'd rather shop at shopping mall
there is no story long or short
this pome i presently will abort

inventory

all of this stuff
where do i put it
find drawers in memory
have mental garage sale

all of this noise
how do i listen
practice on rainy days
pretend that i can't hear

all of these images
how do i see them
close my eyes totally
open just a slit for start

all of these people
how do i know them
go slow as rocking chair
start with vibration

cranker and canker

cranker had a canker sore
he kept it in a jar
he took it everywhere he went
he took it near and far

he'd take it out to do some tricks
like a performing flea
the audience would gather round
his looking glass to see

he'd never put it in his mouth
for that would cause him pain
plus all those shows the canker gave
meant some financial gain

the intrepid sore just wanted back
inside the mouth of cranker
and on a flying loop-de-loop
lit on his tongue, that canker

now the sore just causes pain
and doesn't do its show
and cranker applies anbesol
and hopes the sore will go

informing jorgen

jorgen was the king and queen
of his small earthly corner
and when he wasn't lording over
he worked as a paid informer

when he grew suspicious
of some aunt or girl or guy
he reached out for the telephone
and called the fbi

one day he went right to the top
he saw something thru the glass
this time his narking touched upon
the very ruling class

the fbi knocked on his door
locked him in a prison dim
jorgen informed on his reflection
his victim this time was him

acting for alma

alma liked to act a scene
she called the world her stage
she did not need a curtain
or an audience to engage

in fact, her favorite audience
consisted of herself
she'd act a scene where she was tall
and watch it like an elf

she'd act like she was angry
and she really would get scared
the audience inside her
threw her flowers when it cared

her favorite critic was herself
she'd write in-depth reviews
and when the act was boring
she herself would take a snooze

she worked for months and then performed
her greatest work of drama
and who applauded at the end?
an audience of alma

lex and his ways

les hung out with homeless people
just to pick up girls
the smell was pretty hard to take
but that's how you find pearls

lex served tea to criminals
to hear about their kind
a side effect: at every tea
his guests would rob him blind

lex got involved in politics:
to help his candidate
he shot the opposition guy
at the last debate

so lex is now in prison
where he'll find no homeless lass
and he gets his tales of criminals
injected in his ass

barney's beans

barney had some magic beans
he'd take them everywhere
when things got a little risky
he would wave them in the air

he never took them from the bag
until the other day
an evil man held out a gun
and asked for his monay

barney reached into his pocket
the robber told him, pull no tricks
barney pulled out coins and cash
but beans were in the mix

the thief said, drop it on the ground
barney did as he was told
the magic beans grew into magic vines
caught the thief in a chokehold

the story of the magic beans
keeps barney free from harrass
and another thing about his beans:
if you cook them right, no gas

weather alice

alice was a weather watcher
she rode the weather boat
she wore her weather overshoes
her weather overcoat

when the storms came ro her town
she followed on her feet
she chased the clouds from house to house
took photos in the street

until a storm came to her lane
cracked her barometer
instead of alice chasing it
the storm was chasing her

that flash she saw was not lightning
the storm took photographs
that rumbling wasn't thunder
but the storm's unnerving laughs

and when it left behind no drops
and left behind no malice
she wondered what that storm would do
with its photographs of alice

i am not

i am not a jaguar
i will not eat you with sharp teeth
i do not run that fast in pursuit
i'm not that kind, if you care to know

i am not a tall brick wall
i can not stand so straight so long
i do not want you painting me
i'm not that kind, i'm something else

i am not the wind of air
i cannot tousle your hair in that way
i am not invisible like a breath
i'm not that kind, so do not fear

i am not a force of nature
i am not an alligator
i am not a falling jet plane
i'm not a second
that's not my style

it is true

i saw that it was happening
but it never did take place
and you know that i'm not lying
by the expression on my face

i saw it, but i didn't
and i don't remember well
i think it wasn't yesterday
but one can never tell

i heard another version
tho i saw it with my eyes
no similarity at all
did not give me a surprise

i guess i wasn't watching
when it all transpired right here
i might have heard the sound of it
or else it wasn't clear

you may ask me, you may question me
or put me on the spot
but altho i clearly saw it
did it happen? it did not.

wine bottles

the bottles of wine are on the floor
until they roll to the next town
each bottle is naked or working on labels
or wearing a bottle-shaped floor length gown

the bottles of wine dance round and round
they balance so well on that bottom rim
you can see the liquid inside each soul
despite the dance hall and the light so dim

the bottles of wine must now go to work
they all wash their corks for the day ahead
let us hope that they do not spend themselves
for who likes a bottle of wine that's dead

the bottles of wine all go to sleep
they make their beds in the wooden wine rack
and if they get rest that is good enough
the next day you'll see them all coming back

cough

celeste had a little cough
its phlegm was white as snow
and everywhere that celeste went
the cough was sure to go

it followed her to work one day
it followed her back home
she took it on a shopping trip
and travelling to stokholm

she shared a cabin with her cough
once in the deepest wood
she stayed at home one semester
while cough worked their livelihood

and then one day the cough was gone
as fast as it began
i think it travels far and wide
with celeste's old mailman

maxwell myron

maxwell was an architect
he built unusual spaces
and where he chose to site his works -
rather unusual places

he built the hospital wing upon
the top of myron's head
when myron heard the news he turned
the strangest shade of red

when the contractors arrived on site
myron didn't know
that his head was the very place
the hospital wing would go

at first myron was hesitant
but maxwell had his way
the journals and the newspapers
all had a thing to say

"a daring vision" "magnifique"
"so right" "a watershed"
and every critic gushed about
that site on myron's head

stump coffee

jim cut his legs off, one by one
was not a pretty sight
but he drank his coffee from his stumps
and it finally tasted right

jim never liked that coffee taste
but liked the coffee buzz
until an industrial accident
made his two legs a was

i think he was too sleepy
so he didn't see the saw
and first his left, and then his right
and then he said, ooh ah

but darn it if he didn't take
a sip that very night
when he drank his coffee from his stumps
it finally tasted right

understanding cats

the cats told me in many words
at least in two or three
that they were hungry as a cow
as hungry as a tree

they talked to me without my words
they only used their own
they did not use the television
or the telephone

i understood their talk as if
a light had been switched on
i never learned their language
but i took the first lesson

but that was long ago and now
the thought of it has fled
and so i cannot understand
a single word they said

secret

you may note my smiling visage
or my near-perfect physique
you may wonder at my jolliness
and why that is unique

you might question how i lost that weight
but even i don't know
i don't think i can describe it
or perform it in a show

it may not explain my happy smile
or why i'm looking thinner
but i eat my lunch at 8 a.m.
and save breakfast for dinner